never stop believing

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bonjour.
"Youth, even in its sorrows, has a brilliance of its own." -Victor Hugo

Uploaded with ImageShack.us hyper,talkative,coquettish,lively individualist
seeking uniqueness,rather than unity.
a sanguine,albeit having a likeness of solitude.
a true blooded aljuniedian,reaching her final year.
just trying her best to be who she is,really.

nyamnyam [ 01:12 ]

gonna sleep now.

oh,

i got a leg cramp tadi.

mcm nak pengsan..

aku sempat searched google on how to relief muscle cramps..

but then when i managed to get to the right website..

the cramp is gone.

alhamdulillah,i guess.

tatatatat.

affection.love. [ 01:03 ]

compromise.

no one says it could be so hard to do it.

sacrifice.

is there really a need to..or it is just an exaggerated term..

even so.

all ended well.

its just a moment we should let go.

how sweet the feeling is.

yet,the sweetness can sometimes hurt.

irony in everything.

its up to us to get the best out of it.

love is actually very pure,and beautiful.

i call for a change? [ 00:40 ]

theres definitely a need to change.

definitely.

i am supper duppper tired of dealing with this.

why,oh why do girls have this habit?

why do we always have to mix our very personal feelings with every effing single thing?

why?

well,that makes us different from the males.

PFFFT.

BIG BULLSHIT.

well.

even so,

swearing,slithing throats with words aint gonna change a thing.

actions.pure damn actions will.

and so.

i really wanna have a forum.

how will the ukhwah be healed when we cant stop doing this?

its time to stop mixing personal feelings with school works.

be professional girls.

we need this.

dengan itu.

akan ku isytiharkan satu pertemuan,ya.

gosh.

how dreadful kan.

tau pon.

joy. [ 00:27 ]

today,i felt good.

guess partly ive finished gb..

and 4 FRIGGIN ARABIC JOURNAL ENTRIES!!!!!!!!!

and..

today was the JAE result day.

happy,joyous..

fae got what she had been wanting.

and SP..

i wanna be ur jr,fae!

how ironic.

im happy for the others too.

jealousy was there..

but there should be no regrets in the decision ive made.

and so,im just so happy for them.

furthermore,

wan got what he wanted,badly..

fitness training.

i realy hope he'll make some changes in his attitude.

cause its an essential now.

why me..

im still stuck here.

school's getting more busier.

seriously,

i dont even have time to read the papers,even watch a decent news!

and gosh...............

INSYA.

this year,

i think ill be below 70% if these were to continue on..

cause seriously..

how am i to do n finish up all of his write ups when

1-i have an average command on the vocabulary.

2-i have no motivation.

well,

i guess ill just have to suck it in and just see it as the obstacles i have to get through in achieving my dreams.

erm,excuse me. [ 23:12 ]

NGANTOK.

waiting for him to finish showering.

oh,lala.

i wanna have breakfast with tomorrow.

boleh bro?

its the weekends bro! [ 22:19 ]

friday.

i enjoyed today very much.

the weather was cold..

and well,i lovve it!

thou we did suffered abit..

the class 2/3 done with the deco.

n i love it!

we all do!

and ust baha likes it!

n ust affandi too,n ust razif too.

well,we deafened our eyes on those who criticised it.,

well,tak cukop sifat per,so its not wrong.

recess was fun.

we came down early(a rarity for ust baha)

and well,enjoyed our food peacefully.

laughters,jokes n smiles were shared.

it all started when i chanted,"oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...caught in a bad romance"

and asked to imagine me stading up and singing bad romance in the canteen,aloud.

then,imagine papa on the other side will continue the song..

then we lancaued t.H...hehe.

funny tau.

they all very obedient n imagined it..

and we broke in roaring laughters.

then off we go to watch daybreakers.

great movie,suckish ending thou( i guess they didnt know how to end the movie...bodoh.)

and geli..

serious,for the first time i felt like vomitting after a movie.

tapi best..

fuh..

kinda scary thou...not hantu2 scary..

scary like..

well,scared of the future..and its unpredictable possibilities..

well i like today.

funsome.

[ 22:23 ]

hehe,

didnt know many do care about this lion.

im very terharu.....

hehe.

well,

i am happy now.

allah is always here for me..

even when my heart bleeds.

so,

ofcourse alhamdulillah.

all praises to the almighty for the improvements.

its fine now.

aaaokay.

so,

hehehhe.

esp to that boy who got my name wrong,

depan muke aku.

aww,kau rindu aku kan.

tau,aku pon.

rindu class 1/1 eh.

rindu spending time with everyone..

[ 21:49 ]

its hard.

cold war with the one i love.

i feel like crying.

well,i did.

if only she could understand.

[ 21:41 ]

oh..

mr Idris Tawfiq came and gave a talk today.

inspiring,touching and funny.

left me to reflect on my life.

how horrendously i made mistakes...

and yet allah still loves me.

his words inspired me,

to change for the better.

before its too late to do anything at all.

and some of us got to be up close n personal with him.

how nice..

i seriously enjoyed those moments.

and insyallah,

will attend some of his talks while he's still here.

btw,

he seriously reminds me of u.Goumaa.

every single thing.

only,de tak lempar2 kunci ngn tangan de..

and tak buat muke garang.

hehehe.

well,he resides at egypt anyway.

so tat kinda explains.heh.

[ 21:18 ]

today started off rather tiring.

most of us were so sleepy...

furthermore with ust agil's class in the morning..

but somehow we managed to listen to his lecture amidst resting our still sleepy eyes.

nahu is fun.

and i got tired of eating kaya breads.

n resulted to buying mee bakso..

which i didnt really have any appetite to eat it..

and left syark to finish it.

basically,today aku makan maen2.

the lessons aftr recess...

i forgot to bring qowaid down..

but then..

i dont even understand a single thing...

so my mind wandered off.

atfirst bie was with me..

but then she got sleepy n slept.

i was sleepy,but i didnt wanna sleep.

somehow i felt restless.

thank god nash n yanyan was behind me...

and mad,wan,papa n zan were near me.

so i kinda enjoyed myself.

fiqh was normal.

kene marah dulu,then merepek same2.

blaja tetap paham lah tapi.

alhamdulillah.

and then......

i dont like insya.

serious,ust baha's presence is overwhelming.

but i cant say give up.

so i guess ill just persevere...

and i got scolded for not paying attention..

hehehhe.

sighs [ 00:04 ]

im jealous of them.

mira dropped by today.

was ecstatic to see her.

gosh,i miss you girl.

seeing her,

made that jealousy to reappear.

one more will go.

my dear dear friend.

im gonna miss her so much.

did i make the right decision..?

well,

its too late now.

wardah dah tido..

da takle blaja.

nasi da jadi bubur,

nothing can be done.

oh,please allah.

let me survive this..

change. [ 23:45 ]

its inevitable.

well.

i know ive changed.

im more..

well gave myself more freedom.

and my mum isnt at all pleased.

but she never controlled me.

so after all this time,

if she thinks i could change with just constant endless nagging..

i dont think tatll do.

well,

i guess right now i just have to keep myself in silence whenever she nags,

thats the best way.

but i dont find anything wrong.

its not like i go around wandering alone,somewhere unknown.

im with him,

and with them too.

wer not alone,we having fun together with them.

and i just wanna enjoy every single moment i could be with him.

i dont wanna have any regrets..

if things were to go wrong in the future.

well.

how i wish things were better.

[ 21:43 ]

browsing poly pamplets.

done with it.

ended up with 8 choices only.

4more.

well.

1st choice- applided drama & psychology(sp),

2nd-art business management(np)

3rd-mass comm(np/sp)

4th-biomed(sp/np).

gosh.

if i get any of these,

im happy.

2011 seems so far away for now.

right now..

gotta go through last year at aljunied.

[ 21:02 ]

last night's havoc.

im left all tired,and beat up.

ttn was cancelled..

and i had to absent myself form the outing.

im sad tau.

i really wanted to go.

well.

love,hubb.

its getting stronger.

7years is a long time to wait.

times like this..

for once i want time to be on forward.

i wanna sleep early today.

hmmmm.

pressure.. [ 20:50 ]

last friday i absent myself.

i was sick..thats one thing..

another thing was..

i got stressed abit.

ust baha's presence is kinda overwhelming me.

well,his way of giving out assgnments.

gosh..

im stressed even thinking about it.

right now,

im like..

refusing to do his insya assgnmnts,

n have finished his sarf's.

ive not even started my journal entries..

and i have 2 pages already on due.

i feel it getting on me..

its hard to do things youre not interested in..

and to be forced..

gosh,

la asthoti' an idfa'.

[ 20:45 ]

oh,did i tell u im now an itmaj?

well.

mixed feelings,deep down here.

one thing for sure,

defffo need to put on a disguise,in some ways.

its hard u know,

if i cant be myself so much.

but stil.

im thankful.

im gonna make the best out of it.

hahahha.

gosh someone,

slap me.

laminated paper. [ 20:33 ]

hello again.

well,

i was just tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lazy to update.

when u postpone one time,

the mind automatically wants to postpone the rest.

well,there you have it.

BYK GILLER BENDE SUDA TERJADI.

lets talk about the Os.

well..

alhamdulillah,im a lucky 13.

and my form A was full,isnt that a great sight?

alhamdulillah agin,

im qualified for the courses i wanted(xcpt for those in np)

im applying next year,so....gdluck to me!

as for my friends..

well,ive seen the best and the worst..

the deserved,and the undeserved..

the victory..and the loss in their eyes.

but then,

its just Olevel.

a cert,on a laminated paper.

this may not be ur time,and u lost the war..

but insyallah,you could be better in the future.

remember friends.

we plan,Allah decides.

so never lose hope.

im gonna miss my friends who'd began their new journey.

ill join you guys soon.

to faae,mira.

kerinduan yg teramat.

all the best guys!

[ 18:39 ]

so today was my 1st day of sch.

ust baha is our form teacher.

a curse or a blessing?

well,for someone who doesnt have the urge to pursue arabic studies..

i guess its a blessing in disguise.

gotta push my very best for this last year.

muraqibah,amirah wasilah!

naib,kyria.

hehe.

hmm.

oh,i heard they wanna turn the class black pink.

i seriously wanna suggest them to play with all shades of the two colours.

tanak striking blinding pink with pitch black only,ok girls.

oh,

theres gonna be more frequent sessions in the qo'ah.

MAJOR GRRRRR.

esp for mustolah hadith n fiqh.

i cant focus there!!

oh,

and our queen of dramatic exaggeration is a muraqibah.

teehee.

apart from all,

it feels rather normal.

well,the studying started today.

and it feels like...normal.

yayay.

ust razif ajar nahu,aku suke.

well,ust sheikh maqsood da tak ajr,ganti ust roslan.

well,one thing,theres gonna be plenty of room to focus and understand.

and thank god,THANK GOD balaghah/adab takde exam.

teehee.

oh,

and aku first day da kene naik stage.

well,somehow i get this feeling none of us are getting it..

i mean..sape yg nak vote?

kwan2 kite je..

hehe pathetico.

well,itmaj tak itmaj..

pre u 2s sume kene participate kan.

so its the same thing.

last year.

lets work hard.

play hard too.

main point:ENJOY!!!!

[ 20:33 ]

he mixed up eclairs with coclairs(cadbury's).

he said,lastnight he went home and found 2tupperware filled with eclairs.

i was like.."WOW!!!"

so tadi when we were out,

i asked him to bring me some.

which he replied saying they looked fake,so he didnt even eat them.

i was like.."eclairs pon ade fake ke??"

so i asked him,"how can they be fake?paling2 home-made nye ah.."

"the wrappers looked fake.."

"oh,issit choclairs?hehehehe."

silly kan.

[ 10:48 ]

oh,

and guys.

issit true?

11th jan?

hmm.

hmmm.

i hope ill get some money.

camne nk byr ticket kan kalau gitu?

hahahaha.

[ 10:34 ]

oh.

MUSE IS COMING!!!!!!

3RD FEB.

7PM.

i will go.

sape nak ikot?

thank god for the early notice from kak haida.

if not..........

GRRRRRRR.

yayayayayayayya!!!!!

[ 09:39 ]

liat nak update blog.

hmm.

well.

i hate those days when everythings just not going ur way.

when you feel so useless,down..and very much induced with unnecessary emotions.

but alhamdulillah.

i didnt succumb to it,

n emerged happy now.

everything's doing pretty great now.

school reopened.(altho im still at home cause i have an app. with KKH later at noon)

yesterday was our 14th.

went out to eat at Madjack.

but he was still sick,so we decided to hang around my area.

brought down lappie and watched Up together.

talked,talked,talked.

it was nice.

and yes,he didnt even remember it.

well,

hes still sick now.

woke up with asthma pulak.

too bad i have to go alone.

boohoo.

well,

feel like dropping over there once im done.

hmm.

[ 12:06 ]

bagaikan sakti.

cinta datang tanpa diundang

seumur masa tercipta

dia datang bagai sakti

bagai menyaksi mekar

kembang pagi

cinta datang dengan senyuman

panasnya membakar mentari

wajah yang tergambar

tak akan terpudar

dari hati insan yang fana ini.

tak mungkin mentari

akan teros sembunyi

tiada sempadan

tak bisa ku lewati.

jika ini hakikatnya

aku serahkan jiwa dan raga ku.

menantimu walau sengsara

jika ini ketentuannya

kau kan jadi milikku

jua.

[ 11:03 ]

holiday's ending.

in 1,2,3,4 days!

well,guys ill be absent on the first day!

for some medical reason.

somehow,

i kinda am excited about starting school again.

looking at the newly bought books..

smangat macam da dtg balek..

and i heard my mind said,"oh,u can do this lina".

im sure i can.

well.

i really cant drop out.

since i received a big NO from my dad.

well,

lets just enjoy 2010.

and hopefully graduate together!

gosh,

imagine the feeling of completing 12 full years of education in aljunied.

happy nye!

well.

i have a full year ahead of me.

gotta stay put and endure every nonsense!

oh,oh!

the church's bell is ringing now.

hehe.

happy new year!

[ 10:52 ]

woke up in a brand new year.

i felt somehow happy.

firstly,

finally im not broke again.

ohh..

it felt hellish to not have a single cent with you.

and secondly,

well..

its a new year.

lets just hope for the best.

2008.

a great year spent with the greatest ppl.

friendships rekindled.

feelings rode a roller coaster ride.

but,i survived!

2009.

last year as an aljuniedian.

beginning of the M18 phase.

hope for the best in life.

and..

lets not forget our baby brother n sis!

to Ayun n Fae,

happy 17th!!!!

enjoy this year guys.

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